What is a Narcissist?

Narcissistic personality disorder involves a pattern of self-centred, arrogant thinking and behaviour, a lack of empathy and consideration for other people, and an excessive need for admiration. Others often describe people with NPD as cocky, manipulative, selfish, patronising, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving surfaces in every area of the narcissist’s life: from work and friendships to family and love relationships.

As you can see, they are the complete opposite of an empath!

People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behaviour, even when it’s causing them problems.

Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others. What’s more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticisms, disagreements, or perceived slights, which they view as personal attacks.

For the people in the narcissist’s life, it’s often easier just to go along with their demands to avoid the coldness and rages. However, by understanding more about narcissistic personality disorder, you can spot the narcissists in your life, protect yourself from their power plays, and establish healthier boundaries.

How to deal with a narcissist....

Don't fall for the fantasy

Narcissists can be very magnetic and charming. They are very good at creating a fantastical, flattering self-image that draws us in. We’re attracted to their apparent confidence and lofty dreams.

It’s easy to get caught up in their web, thinking that they will fulfil our longing to feel more important, more alive. But it’s just a fantasy, and a costly one at that.

Your needs won’t be fulfilled (or even recognised). It’s important to remember that narcissists aren’t looking for partners; they’re looking for obedient admirers.

Your sole value to the narcissist is as someone who can tell them how great they are to prop up their insatiable ego. Your desires and feelings don’t count.

You need to focus on your own dreams. Instead of losing yourself in the narcissist’s delusions, focus on the things you want for yourself.

What do you want to change in your life? What gifts would you like to develop? What fantasies do you need to give up in order to create a more fulfilling reality?

Set boundaries

Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect and caring, but narcissists aren’t capable of true reciprocity in their relationships.

It isn’t just that they’re not willing; they truly aren’t able. They don’t see you. They don’t hear you. They don’t recognise you as someone who exists outside of their own needs.

Because of this, narcissists regularly violate the boundaries of others. What’s more, they do so with an absolute sense of entitlement.

Try not to take it personally

To protect themselves from feelings of inferiority and shame, narcissists must always deny their shortcomings, cruelties, and mistakes.

Often, they will do so by projecting their own faults on to others.

It’s very upsetting to get blamed for something that’s not your fault or be characterised with negative traits you don’t possess. But as difficult as it may be, try not to take it personally. It really isn’t about you.

As an empath, you must know your worth, and do your best to protect yourself from these 'energy vampires'.

what is a narcissist